A healing

By Cindy

One of the more difficult, but ultimately most growing experiences in healing I have had, taught me how to take a stand for Truth, to trust God with everything I am, and not bow to pressure.

When I was pregnant with my second child, my father-in-law faced a difficult diagnosis that played around in my thought for a while. I wondered if, in a similar situation, I would be able to stand for the truth, or would I decide that I needed to have some other kind of help? Did I know enough, or trust God enough, to put my life in God’s care? As it turned out, I had to answer that question much sooner than I had thought.

Home births were not allowed at the time where we lived, and when we had to go to the hospital, the doctor declared that I was severely anemic and that the baby could have a severe infection if we did not have a blood transfusion at once, and then have a c-section delivery. He said I would most likely die during delivery and the baby could develop brain damage. He said I was “critical.” Here it was. Life or death. Whoa.

My thought wandered all over at first, from sheer panic about the prognosis, to anger that I had been a good person and did not deserve this, to wondering if I knew enough to trust God. I knew that panic, anger and doubt were not coming from God, and when I was able to be still and shut out those thoughts, I felt a calm come over me. That sense of calm and peace was from God. I could trust that.

However, what were we to do? The options seemed to be to follow the medical advice and we would “probably” be ok; or not follow the advice and die. Or, were those the only options? The more deeply still and quiet I got, the more I felt at peace. Slowly, insistently, the thought came, “Go home.”

Being obedient to that thought took tremendous trust. The doctor angrily informed me that the decision to go home was reckless and stupid. I signed an “against medical advise” waver to get out of the hospital and went home.

Being at home made it easier to keep listening, trusting, and loving. In that sweet listening time, the upset, fear, and anger were replaced by calm, trust, and an understanding that Life is God, divine Love, who is always caring for Her children.

The Bible Lesson that week told the story of Abraham being willing to sacrifice Isaac to God, and this showed me that I could trust my baby to God. God didn’t require death as a sacrifice, because God knows only Life. A steady, strong conviction that God is All filled me with gratitude.

When the labor began in earnest, I returned to the hospital, which was required by law. I knew I couldn’t be hurt by being obedient to God. This time, I felt a deep peace that all was well, and when the nurse examining me declared that the labor had not progressed at all, I knew then that God delivered this baby and time was not a factor. Within ten minutes, my daughter arrived safely. Both she and I were perfect, to the amazement of the doctor and nurses.

What had changed? Did the anemia and infection get corrected? No. Nothing had changed. My listening to God revealed the constant steady perfection of God’s creation, completely untouched by evil, human theories, or predictions, including death.

Did I answer the question in my heart? Did I know enough, or trust God enough, to put my life in God’s care? I found that I didn’t need to answer the question because there is no death question for anyone. My daughter and I fully experienced Life. And I still rejoice in that experience. I see now that everyone always has the Christ light to uplift consciousness and see reality. How very grateful I am to have had this lesson.