Restoration of a Friendship, & Healing at a Day-spa:

From Jan Lister

I have a wonderful friend who I adore. We’ve always had a deeply loving friendship. She told me that we have “knitted hearts” like David and Jonathan in the Bible. But we are very different, and over the years there have been misunderstandings, disagreements, and tears. Attempts on both sides to “fix it” have not worked. And so, ten years ago my friend turned away.

I was devastated at the loss of this friendship I so adore. I tried reaching out at least three times and was rebuffed. I could make no dent in that wall nor make progress. I went through many stages – self-justification, deep hurt, anger at myself and at her, anger at God, and then a phase of mourning this precious friendship. I had to bury it and come to terms with forward motion.

Of course I prayed through all these stages. It has taken every bit of the last ten years to work through this. Ultimately I got to the place where I chose to love. I determined that although I would probably never see this precious one again, I would love her. Deeply love her, no matter what. I chose love. The love was never ever touched during any of these phases. It simply was in place the entire time.

Even during my temper tantrums and attempts to heal by trying to cut it out and eliminate it from my life, I found it wasn’t mine to change in any way. It simply was. It’s been quite a journey of learning grace with God. I had to discover that God was my true Love, and find my center there. I found much peace there, and set down all my striving to find this friend.

During Christmas, 2015, another friend had a need that I knew this estranged friend could and would help with. So I made the connection for them to communicate. Afterwards, I sent an email to the estranged friend saying I loved her and would love to talk to her too someday. She responded immediately. We talked and cried and re-established our friendship, or rather, picked-up all the good right where we left off. It is as if no time (or hurt) had ever happened. Only the golden part of the friendship remained. The concept of restoration is a holy thing to me now.

We had our first opportunity to see each other and spend time together late August, 2016.

We were to meet in Portland, Oregon and make a day of driving through that beautiful country along the Columbia river and up to a day-spa. I was elated to see her, but resisted the spa idea because it’s not my thing. I recognized it was her way of doing something special and to have some relaxing fun. So I told her to just plan it and I would go. This entailed being wrapped like a mummy for awhile.

During the wrapping phase a lady came in, in deep distress. She told the technicians she couldn’t feel her arms or legs. They tried to attend to her but could not help her. They called an ambulance for her. She was right next to me. I knew I needed to pray as we are taught in Christian Science – knowing that this was a child of God, and that God was meeting her every need, right there. I got up and dressed and then asked a technician if I could go in and pray with her.

She was very scared. I held her hand and quietly spoke truths to her, affirming that God was right there, meeting her every need. I told her “God’s got you, baby, you’re OK, you’re safe right here, you’re under the wings of God’s great love for you.”

She wept and responded gratefully. I spent a few minutes with her. Another technician told me I had to leave. I told the lady I would be supporting her in prayer and knew that she would walk out of there. I went outside to find a quiet place to pray.

My friend came out and gave me her room. I know she was praying too – although not a Christian Scientist, she is a deeply Christian woman. The ambulance came. We completed our prayers and went on our way.

Once in the car together, we both realized that we were there for a higher purpose. I realized that had I been selfish, I would have fussed at my friend about going to spa (I almost did this) and then would not have been in that place I needed to be.

She recognized that we needed to be there and was not happy with herself, because at first she was miffed at the lady for ruining her mojo at the spa. But she realized she needed to lift that higher and eventually did pray. She was grateful that I went over and prayed with the lady.

We both realized that a healing had taken place. Although we didn’t get to see the fruition of it, we knew it was a healing. We both rejoiced. We went on to continue our lovely and precious time together – deeply connected and loving every bit of it.

And the theme of God’s great goodness ran throughout this experience in so many ways. There isn’t time to list it all. Gratitude to God seems too small – but it is the best I know how to express my deeply grateful heart for all of this. God Rocks!